Survivor's Remorse -- More Prayers for Ellen

Sometimes, I forget how precious life is.  I just read a pretty heartbreaking email from my dear friend, Ellen.  Ellen is battling stage 4 cancer and she is dealing with frustration, confusion, pain, worry and every other emotion that you would expect.  She is not sure whether her treatment in Spain did anything at all.

A week before Ellen learned that she has breast cancer, her prayer request was that she and her husband were going to start trying for a second child and that they not struggle as badly to get pregnant the second time.  The second time never came.  Now, she watches our other friends get pregnant and give their children siblings and she is sad with knowing what could have been.

Do I appreciate enough?  My health?  Do I appreciate this beautiful gift of life enough?

I have known several women in the past couple of years to lose their baby far along in their pregnancy.  When I think back to both of my pregnancies/deliveries, I get overwhelmed with gratitude and fear.  I could have lost either or both of them.  I could have been lost.  I am not sure why my children were spared while theirs were lost.  I will never know.  But I am so thankful that they are here and they are healthy and safe.  My little blessings.

I am so grateful for my life and the lives of my children.  However, I pray so hard and so earnestly that God heal Ellen.  Give her the time she desperately wants and needs with Zoe.  Ellen is one of those people that this should never happen to. I reckon no one deserves cancer.  I am fearful for Ellen and I know she is scared too.  She may not have gotten the second child that she wanted, the large family that they dreamed of, but she could have a life with Zoe and Jon if she could just beat this.  Please God, give her a miracle.